the widow

One CD that I listen to a lot is Son, I Loved You At Your Darkest by As Cities Burn. Several of the songs bring me to tears almost every time I listen to it. The songs are honest, brutally so, and are difficult to listen to because of their accurate reflection on the way the world truly is. I get really tired of "Christian music" that is always easy. Worship is not easy; it is sacrifice. The world is not pretty; it is broken. Christ is the completion of my being, but He does not fix all my problems immediately. Indeed, He many times introduces new problems, then He solves them in His own time when He can be most glorified by them not when they are most convenient for me. I love the book of Psalms because it is real worship, not the simple kind but the hard kind. Writers question why God is allowing people to hunt them down with weapons and question His sense of justice. This is where I am. I don't usually feel great about what is going on in my life. I struggle to believe that God really knows what He is doing, and I think that is reflected in the worship of Psalms.

This brings me back to As Cities Burn and particularly the song "The Widow" from their first CD. I always used to skip this song when it came along on my iPod because I always thought it was too graphic and too gross. Lately I have let it go and begun to appreciate the song's reflection on the darkness of the world. Acknowledging that the world is broken is the only sure way to know that we are in need of a Savior. Spurgeon (I think) said that if your sin is small then your Savior will be small, but if your sin is great your Savior will be great also.

The beginning of "The Widow" talks about the singer's father leaving his mother before the singer ever knew him. The second verse follows:

Dead man, is it being high that makes you alive?
It makes you leave behind three boys and a wife in '89
As the track marks inched their way up your arm
My mother taught my brothers and I not to call you daddy
But to call you father

But I believe there is something here to be learnt of grace
'Cause I can't help but love you
Even with a heart that breaks
Like the promises that you made
Like the promises that you made
The promises that you made

My God, what a world you love

He says several times "My God, what a world you love." This theme runs throughout the CD and also follows onto their sophomore release called Come Now Sleep. As Cities Burn is definitely not for everyone, but in their music I have found truth in art. The truth is sometimes brutal and very very dark, but I think we need not to be afraid of that. Christ is the light. Why are we afraid of darkness? Darkness can never overpower light, but light could not be truly understood or appreciated without darkness.

Other CD's that I like for their truth:

The Fires of Life, Wake Up O Sleeper, and The Balancing Act - Cool Hand Luke
A Holiday at the Sea and Sparrows - Anathallo
Come Now Sleep - As Cities Burn
Catch for Us the Foxes and Brother, Sister - mewithoutYou
I See Things Upside Down - Derek Webb
Bless the Martyr and Kiss the Child - Norma Jean
The Fiancee - The Chariot

Other CDs are a fine display of truth, but these are the ones that I've been listening to and appreciating lately. Also, these are by slightly less-known bands which I really like, so I thought I'd spread the word.

God, does grace reach to this side of madness?
'Cause I know this can't be
the great peace we all seek.

Come down, heaven.
Won't you come down?
Won't you cut through the clouds?
Won't you come down?

i want to get away

Browsing across the vast number of blogs and news websites which i read frequently, I ran across pictures of this house. (click on the pictures for a bigger version)







I have now spent almost a full month within the confines of a city of 2.5 million people which has a disappointing shortage of parks or outdoor space of any kind to be enjoyed. I'm beginning to need to get outdoors some, or at least to some place that has some relation to the outdoors (like a coffeeshop with big windows that look out over a grassy field). The English winter is not exactly conducive to outdoor activity, but being in the middle of a huge city means that none of the buildings even have any reference to the outdoors in their design. If there are windows they overlook a busy street. Also, my flatmates are particularly noisy and annoying and make it hard to concentrate when I'm in my room.

These are the reasons that this house caught my particular attention right now. I would so love to spend a couple weeks in such a gorgeous landscape in a building designed to bring the outdoors to you. There is no escaping the breathtaking landscape when you are inside this house. I was thinking about getting out of town for a few days this coming week, but I've been slapped with an oral presentation and a 1500 word essay due on Thursday and Friday respectively.

So all you American readers, enjoy the outdoors. Even if all that means is sitting inside and looking at the grass out the window.

a cool poster

I am not a Barack Obama supporter (although in politically homogeneous America, I don't really see a whole lot of difference between him and most of the other candidates), but the following poster is worth note just because it looks cool. It's good to see clever design going into something as usually devoid of design as a campaign poster.

The fact that the most exciting thing to me about the presidential race is a well designed poster says a lot about my attitude toward American politics of the moment. Issues are not discussed, the candidates are all the same except for their appearance. What we have is a black moderate, a female moderate, a southern baptist moderate, a rich Mormon moderate, and a war-hero Arizonian moderate. This isn't to say that I am not going to vote or anything; I'm just a bit disillusioned at the moment with all of it. Being in England, I hear only what is "big news" about the candidates. It's never policy issues. The big news is that Hillary lashed out against Obama and McCain hates Romney. Who cares how much these candidates like each other? What are their policies? It is almost impossible to find out.

presidential things

Yesterday, I read the State of the Union address and promptly formulated a response which I posted here. That post is now gone, and I hope none of you read it because I had inadvertently read and responded to the 2007 address (I knew that joker sounded familiar). So hopefully soon I will get around to reading the 2008 address. Hopefully if you are American you watched or read it. It's only the most important speech of the political year.

I saw Explosions in the Sky play last night just down the street in Manchester. It was probably one of the best concerts I've been to in my entire life.

An interesting thing that I stumbled across the other day while reading a design blog was called the map of the political blogosphere. I could look at this thing for hours. It may take you a little time to understand what is going on and how information is represented, but give it a few minutes and read about how it's constructed, then you too will have hours of entertainment analyzing information you never knew existed.

I hope to write soon about the State of the Union.

Be well. Do good work. Keep in touch.

resurrection?

I'm thinking about bringing back this blog since I've got some time on my hands while I'm in England. We'll see if it sticks.

Things

I've been thinking about a lot of things lately and my journal is starting to fill up. I am pleased with all the time I have on my hands to read and think and be outside this summer since I don't have a job. I may write something soon. I know I always make those kinds of statements then I don't follow through, but perhaps I will make it a goal tomorrow. Not that I think anyone ever reads this or anything.

Until tomorrow...

Traffic

The traffic was crazy today. Some days I feel like a traveler trying to cross the Sahara. Only instead of an endless sea of sand, it's an ocean of autos. Metal and pavement as far as the eye can see. It's funny how I never view myself as part of the confusion, which, of course, I am. Instead I split lanes and ride through it.I pass by the cars and dive by buses with a necessary simplicity. Instead of the thirsty, tired wanderer, I try to be the breeze.

-- I saw this on the inside of a biking jersey today, and I liked it. If you ever travel by bicycle you will probably identify with the story.

I haven't written in a while and I don't know if I'll be writing anytime soon, but we'll see what happens.