27 February 2008

earthquake

Last night there was an earthquake in England at almost 1.00 AM. I had gotten in bed shortly before but was still awake when it happened. The whole place rocked and rattled for a good 15 or 20 seconds. It was a really bizarre feeling. At first it felt like someone had grabbed my bed and was shaking it real hard. I turned on my light and it was moving too. It all ended before I could get out of bed. To try to figure out how violent it was, I grabbed my bed and shook it really hard. My bed is steel. I could not move it at all. I suddenly realized that the motion of the earth was not exaggerated by my bed. The feeling I got was like when I laid in my bunk bed when I lived in Bragaw and someone came and shook the bed, or Will would bounce around on the bottom bunk and I would rock and sway. Except this time I was bolted to the floor, so it was the floor doing all that rocking and swaying.


It was a disconcerting feeling to say the least once I realized what had happened. This morning as I sat eating my breakfast, I was reflecting on the feeling and of course my mind went crazy with it.

I've been reading John (as anyone who regularly reads this blog knows), and today I was studying chapter 16. This was after the earthquake and before breakfast. Jesus says in verse 33 "In the world you have tribulation, but take courage; I have overcome the world." I act like I need some security other than Christ. Walking through life I desperately grasp at all kinds of things in the world to give me peace, but all of them leave me really empty. I do this everyday. Jesus says in the first part of verse 33, "These things I have spoken to you, so that in Me you may have peace." But I get this mixed up. I forget or something.

Verse 33 really sums up Jesus' message for me. I know the foremost thing that I hear is "Be a Christian and go to heaven," but Christ's teaching is more like "Follow me and realize a fulfilled life." The beauty of coming to Christ for me is that life makes sense. There is no other way to make sense of the universe, from physics to genetics to personal experience and joy, except through the lens of Christ's work and God's love. The point of Christianity is what happens in our lives. We are not supposed to defer all the goodness of Christ to after our deaths. Our eternal life begins now, not when we die. If I was to take a lot of the teaching that I've heard seriously, I would ask Jesus for the forgiveness of my sins then kill myself. Jesus is in the business of life, abundant life.

My life is only found in Him. All the stuff on earth that I get distracted by is unstable and ultimately not fulfilling. This is where the earthquake comes in. As if to reinforce the tenuous condition of all earthly things, last night the earth itself shook. I don't think I've ever really thought about the possibility of the ground not being solid. Sure I've stood on cliffs or slipped down a hill on mud and stuff, but this time the middle of the flatland that I live in shook. A parking lot was not longer stable. To me the only way the ground can be unstable is through something on the surface condition -- it's slick from oil or sandy and soft or something like that. Now it was all coming undone.

My perception of security was shattered. I wasn't really scared at that moment, but think about the implications. Imagine walking outside onto the sidewalk which you always assume is solid or into a field and it suddenly falls away, shifts, slides. It is no longer worthy of trust. For about 20 seconds last night everything my life, cities, buildings, and highways are anchored in was unstable. That foundation we take for granted was questioned. So it's not that the things of earth are temporary or transient and can't bring me peace (they are but...). It's the earth itself that is temporary, capable of shifting and shaking at any time. If I forget all of the emotional, relational, abstract things that I grab onto, which I usually think of as temporary, and try to ground myself into something physical and natural, like the earth, it too is only temporary. When you really think about it, the dirt in the ground is no more substantial than some passing relationship with a girl (or boy if you're a girl).

My world is becoming unhinged. The only peace to be found is in Christ. I can shut myself off from all relationships and technology which I see as distracting and move into the wilderness, but there I will trust in nature instead of God. My situation has not improved. The natural world is temporary and unstable, unable to bring peace.

"In the world you have tribulation, but take courage; I have overcome the world."

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

We had the earthquake too. It was probably the most confusing/scary thing that has happened to me.....EVER!

Mollie said...

How true is that! It's beautiful. Really..