the widow

One CD that I listen to a lot is Son, I Loved You At Your Darkest by As Cities Burn. Several of the songs bring me to tears almost every time I listen to it. The songs are honest, brutally so, and are difficult to listen to because of their accurate reflection on the way the world truly is. I get really tired of "Christian music" that is always easy. Worship is not easy; it is sacrifice. The world is not pretty; it is broken. Christ is the completion of my being, but He does not fix all my problems immediately. Indeed, He many times introduces new problems, then He solves them in His own time when He can be most glorified by them not when they are most convenient for me. I love the book of Psalms because it is real worship, not the simple kind but the hard kind. Writers question why God is allowing people to hunt them down with weapons and question His sense of justice. This is where I am. I don't usually feel great about what is going on in my life. I struggle to believe that God really knows what He is doing, and I think that is reflected in the worship of Psalms.

This brings me back to As Cities Burn and particularly the song "The Widow" from their first CD. I always used to skip this song when it came along on my iPod because I always thought it was too graphic and too gross. Lately I have let it go and begun to appreciate the song's reflection on the darkness of the world. Acknowledging that the world is broken is the only sure way to know that we are in need of a Savior. Spurgeon (I think) said that if your sin is small then your Savior will be small, but if your sin is great your Savior will be great also.

The beginning of "The Widow" talks about the singer's father leaving his mother before the singer ever knew him. The second verse follows:

Dead man, is it being high that makes you alive?
It makes you leave behind three boys and a wife in '89
As the track marks inched their way up your arm
My mother taught my brothers and I not to call you daddy
But to call you father

But I believe there is something here to be learnt of grace
'Cause I can't help but love you
Even with a heart that breaks
Like the promises that you made
Like the promises that you made
The promises that you made

My God, what a world you love

He says several times "My God, what a world you love." This theme runs throughout the CD and also follows onto their sophomore release called Come Now Sleep. As Cities Burn is definitely not for everyone, but in their music I have found truth in art. The truth is sometimes brutal and very very dark, but I think we need not to be afraid of that. Christ is the light. Why are we afraid of darkness? Darkness can never overpower light, but light could not be truly understood or appreciated without darkness.

Other CD's that I like for their truth:

The Fires of Life, Wake Up O Sleeper, and The Balancing Act - Cool Hand Luke
A Holiday at the Sea and Sparrows - Anathallo
Come Now Sleep - As Cities Burn
Catch for Us the Foxes and Brother, Sister - mewithoutYou
I See Things Upside Down - Derek Webb
Bless the Martyr and Kiss the Child - Norma Jean
The Fiancee - The Chariot

Other CDs are a fine display of truth, but these are the ones that I've been listening to and appreciating lately. Also, these are by slightly less-known bands which I really like, so I thought I'd spread the word.

God, does grace reach to this side of madness?
'Cause I know this can't be
the great peace we all seek.

Come down, heaven.
Won't you come down?
Won't you cut through the clouds?
Won't you come down?